welcome wagon-web

Spotlight: Jesus, Son of God
JOE: The Virgin Birth.
JESUS: What about it?
JOE: Did it really happen that way?
JESUS: You can ask the Messiah about any of the countless mysteries of this universe, and you open with THAT? No, my mother was not a lying whore. Thanks for asking, though.

Spotlight: Yeshua (aka Damien)
“Prayer is real, Joseph. I had no power to act, trapped without a physical form, but I heard them all. Every one of those children, defiled in a HOUSE OF GOD. They cried out for me to save them, but I could do nothing. I could do NOTHING.
I hear them all. Sometimes it’s all I hear.”

Spotlight: Anna Thorne, CEO, ReGen Corporation
NATALIA: Should we really be giving Damien more power?
ANNA: Sweet, simple girl… I hold Damien’s leash. His power is MY power.
Anna Thorne (modeled after Fright Meter’s 2010 Best Supporting Actress winner Sue Stevens) founded ReGen Corporation with her husband Cameron, the architect of Project Savior. As Cameron wasted away from cancer, the couple took greater and greater chances in hopes of creating Jesus, the one person who could heal him.

Spotlight: Pope Sidious, Bishop of Rome
Toward the end of the Cold War, the assassination of two Popes in as many years left the Vatican at a crossroads. They opted for an Austrian traditionalist, Cardinal Koenig, who would rise to power as Pope Sidious I. Sidious blamed the assassination of his predecessors on The Church going soft and letting idealism interfere with practical decision-making.

Spotlight: Joe, Special Ops Agent
MARY: What exactly do you do? For the Vatican, I mean?
JOE: Whatever they tell me to.

Spotlight: Mary
An idealistic young doctor and theologian, Mary was recruited by the Vatican after they read her dissertation, “Jesus 2.0: Savior or Scapegoat,” which examined how humanity was apt to respond to Christ’s return. She believed that humans were at least as likely to kill him again as to actually learn from his teachings.

Spotlight: Palsy
To ensure that clones reach testing age as soon as possible, ReGen Corp afflicted Batch 17 with Progeria. ReGen has since fine-tuned their artificial aging techniques, but the 28-inch tall Palsy is the last living reminder of those failed early experiments.

Spotlight: Inquisition
Damien’s enforcer, Inquisition, is a wrecking ball of death. In the early days the cloning project, ReGen Corp had so many failed test subjects that they disposed of the bodies with regular mass burnings. The badly charred, but still breathing, form of Inquisition was pulled from one of those fires by Damien.

Spotlight: Lithe
Even the Antichrist sometimes needs a little spiritual guidance and for that, he has Lithe. Wickedly clever and with a vengeful streak surpassed only by Damien himself, the silver-tongued Lithe is Damien’s high priest and most trusted servant.

Spotlight: Apius Carbuncle
Born with the congenital disorder Proteus Syndrome, Apius has been riddled with tumors since birth. After he failed to display any of Christ’s powers during ReGen Corp’s brutal testing program, he was deemed useless and tossed in the trash as a child.

Spotlight: Pariah, Beast of the Unholy Seven
Revelation 13:1 “And I stood upon the sand of the sea, and saw a beast rise up out of the sea, having seven heads and ten horns.”

Spotlight: Boomer, Vatican Munitions Expert
“Maybe I am a bit quick to blow shit up, but in my defense, I’m really good at it.”

Bob Hawkins, aka Boomer, was recruited by the Vatican Black Ops while in prison for a misunderstanding involving what Boomer called “the best damn fireworks display I’ve ever seen” and Homeland Security called “a weapon of mass destruction.”

Spotlight: Jet
“Walls are only obstacles for those who lack imagination.”

For generations, Vatican orphanages have served as a scouting ground for their Black Ops unit, allowing the religious powerhouse to find the best and brightest children to recruit into its service. One of the most physically gifted athletes to ever come through the Vatican is the nameless orphan known simply as Jet.

Spotlight: Barracuda, Vatican Interrogator & Personal Protector of the Pope
“I am in good mood, so choice is yours. Which finger comes off first?”

Nicknamed Barracuda for reasons obvious to anyone who has seen him fight, Arlovski is a loyal, albeit thoroughly unhinged, freight train of destruction.

Spotlight: Aleksandra Popov, Head of ReGen Security
ReGen’s Security Chief, Aleksandra Popov, is a ruthlessly efficient killing machine with no interest in issues of morality, which she views as a character weakness.

Spotlight: Goliath
“As bad as it is here, the outside world would treat me far worse. Even when I looked normal and could heal and feed them, the humans crucified me. What would they do to me now?
I am a monster.
A freak.”

As a child, Goliath failed to display any of Christ’s powers during ReGen Corp’s brutal testing program. While most failed test subjects were exterminated and burned on a funeral pyre, Goliath was spared due to his unparalleled size and strength.

Spotlight: Meat Wagon
“Fingers are tasty, but it likes eyes best. No sharp bones to choke it.”

Meat Wagon is a scavenger in the tunnels beneath the ReGen Corp testing facility on Malsum Island. He welcomes the Scuba Gang to Malsum Island in wonderful fashion.