Death Match: Inquisition vs Joe
It’s time for Mutant Deathmatch 2! In our last bout, fans were evenly split between Goliath and Pariah… a draw. This time around, it’s Inquisition vs Joe. Tell us who would win and why and we’ll enter you in a drawing to win an image of the fighter you picked, signed by Mortimer Glum. Read below for the Tale of the Tape and fight breakdown…
In the red corner…
Inquisition, Unholy Knight and Protector of the Antichrist
Height: 6’6”
Weight: 277 pounds
Reach: 92” (w/flail)
Attacks: A rusty, 17-pound flail has been grafted onto his right arm at the wrist. His left hand ends in sharp claws.
Strengths: Impervious to pain, inhuman strength drawn from his connection to the Antichrist, instills crippling fear in those who see his true face, extraordinary reach due to flail arm.
Weaknesses: Not a fan of fire.
Keys to Victory: Land one clean hit.
In the blue corner…
Joe, Head of Vatican Black Ops (in full tactical gear)
Height: 6’0”
Weight: 185 pounds (plus gear)
Reach: 68”
Strengths: Smart and resourceful, an extremely diverse set of gear (see below), including tactical armor. He’s been trained as a Vatican soldier since childhood.
Weaknesses: Much smaller reach. Tactical armor might help Joe deflect a flail hit, but it costs him some of his maneuverability advantage.
Keys to Victory: Either keep the fight at distance or get within grappling range. Stay out of middle range, where Inquisition can end the fight with one swipe of his giant flail. Use gear to your advantage.
Joe’s tactical gear:
2 flashbang grenades
1 machete
1 bowie knife
1 SOG Seal knife
2 throwing knives
3 packets of C-4
1 garrote
1 tactical crossbow w/ scope
1 set of night goggles
12 sets of zip cuffs
1 set of body armor
1 pair of waterproof combat boots
1 set of Kevlar, flame-retardant under armor
1 pack of pain killing stims
Fight breakdown:
This week, it’s bodyguard against bodyguard as Damien’s Unholy Knight, Inquisition, takes on the Vatican’s top Black Ops agent, Joe.
Damien’s most trusted Apostle is the walking nightmare Inquisition, his Unholy Knight and Protector. Discarded by ReGen and tossed onto a corpse pile to burn, Inquisition was pulled from the flames by Damien, who healed and reshaped the clone into the monstrosity he is today. This silent killer is capable of ending any fight with one colossal sweep of his flail-arm.
His opponent is Pope Sidious’ one-man cleanup crew, Joe. As the head of Vatican Black Ops, Joe travels the globe doing the Pope’s bidding. Joe is an extremely clever and resourceful agent, accustomed to operating without backup and solving problems in the field.
Will Joe’s versatility and resourcefulness outweigh the raw power and unstoppable will of the Antichrist’s Unholy Wrecking Ball?
Who would win?
((Mutant Deathmatch is a hypothetical exhibition match with no connection to the events of Escape From Jesus Island))